Do you cry at weddings? Does Grey’s Anatomy tie your stomach in knots? Are you the kind of man that spends more time fixing his hair in the morning than you do watching Sports Center or reading ESPN.com? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then 1) you’re probably not reading this site, and 2) if you are, by some fluke, reading this site, then STOP READING NOW, and get back to your regularly scheduled website.

The fact is fellas, we all need a little help understanding the fairer sex. Apparently, farts aren’t punchlines. Who knew?

Anywho, AskMen.com, a veritable fount of useful man knowledge, instructs us:

If every man stops to think about the one thing all women want more of in a relationship, chances are it’s TLC. Although tender loving care encompasses many emotions and acts, it boils down to the sensitivity of a man. As long as men are sensitive, women are happy.

The problem is that if you start giving in to your feminine side, you will also be giving in to her wants. But is this really what women want?

Dammit. Another question. Is there no simple, unemotional answer that is universally applicable and unrelentingly true? Must I paint my toenails to woo her? And, if I paint my toenails, will she call me Nancy and ask me if I want to borrow some eye liner?

AskMen, puts it simply, and by “simply” I mean NOT simply:

If your girlfriend is happy so long as you listen (or pretend to) when she talks, then leave it at that. But if you see that she wants you to be interested and ask many questions, then doing so might exempt you from a lot of future headaches.

I think the fact of the matter is, they don’t know, either. But the little test at the end of the article is funny, so cruise on over and prepare to be puzzled. I’m puzzled most of the time anyway.

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