Some blaggard broke into my house over the holidays and stole nothing but an empty briefcase, a broken laptop, a broken Swatch watch and a hat full of about $15 in change.

Although I can console myself with the fact that, as a result of that pawltry haul, I still definitely had a better Christmas than my burglar, I’m still down one briefcase.

But that might soon change, now that we live in a world where something like Carl Mertens’ bar briefcase exists.

With a 14-piece cocktail kit as its primary feature, this piece staggeringly still has the standard pockets for files, pens, business cards and a phone. And the cocktail kit isn’t a gimmicky, token effort either. Some highlights include a chopping board and knife, a pestle, two shakers (including a three-piece one) and all the standards.

Aren’t briefcases meant to improve productivity?

bar briefcase by carl mertens [Unica Home via Luxist]