Even if you’re only a notch over 5 feet, have a sizable beer gut, and are approaching middle age faster than an F-16, you still have a shot at Victoria Silvstedt. That is, if you’ve got a billion dollars.

This chump no only goes down on her in public while she’s on a pier, he gropes humongoid ta-tas in public and lets her lick his toes in public. That’s HER licking HIS toes. Now I’ve seen everything.

So to summarize, eat all you want, don’t work out, don’t grow past 5 foot 2, and you’ll still be able to hit one of the hottest women on the planet. Oh, and have a lot of money. That one’s kinda hard.

Check out the link for pictures of those crazy, mindblowing things I described above.

Yeah, this makes sense [WWTDD]